shout out

PRA-PRA Princess Power!!!!

don't try this at the office

In schools all over London, apparently, break-times are seeing boys running into the toilet to masturbate furiously, collect their jizz in the palms of their hands, then go out and find a younger kid...then slap them in the face while shouting "SEAGULL!"

what is there to say?

Poor US soldiers - not only do they get sent to die in Iraq, now they're having their funerals hijacked by religious nut jobs. At a recent military funeral the God Hates Fags movement dragged the flag on the ground while carrying signs that said "Thank God for dead soldiers". They also protested at the funerals of the miners who died in the Sago mine disaster, with signs stating, "Aids cures fags" and "fags burn in hell".

Their point appears to be that bad things happen because God is angry that some people are gay.

God Hates Fags was the brainchild of Kansas Baptist preacher Fred Phelps, and is dedicated to "preaching the Gospel truth about the soul-damning, nation-destroying notion that it is OK to be gay."

I am thinking of starting a group called God is Not a Bigot.

Of mice and men

A pub in Queensland held a Jackass promotion night which ended in two men chewing the tails off live mice to try to win a vacation. Tony McGee drank beer and bourbon for six hours before the contest, during which he set off a mouse trap with his tongue, sucked up chillies through a straw, ate a cup of maggots, and drank a pint of anchovies and a pint of mouthwash. He was so drunk that he has no memory of eating the mouse-tail. After leaving court, where he was fined $500, journalists asked McGee if he had any advice for other competitors. His response: "Don't eat mice."

Two things: 1, GROSS!!!!; 2, all that and i don't think he even won the vacation. sad really.

OH MY GOD IT IS A MIRACLE

The firewalls are down and I have been able to read my blog for the first time in ages!!!
I have so many things that I want to tell you guys. Where to start?
First, a woman married a dolphin. Yes, it is true, in a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, some freak decided to marry a dolphin. Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, the bride got down on one knee on the dock and gave the dolphin a kiss; and a piece of herring.
When asked if she had a boyfriend, she replied, "No. I'm going to end up with Cindy" (that is the dolphin). But the bride said she would keep open the option of marrying a human at some stage. But for now she is strictly a one-dolphin woman.
Also, if anyone gets a chance to see the new eve ensler show, I highly recommend it. Guys, you should see it too. It is not the vagina monologues but it is still great. Check out this review and look at the good body website.

it's an aardvark!!!!!

this weekend i was walking in dupont and some guy was walking his dog. the dog was huge and very excited. he ran up to a homeless man and started sniffing him. the homeless man started jumping up and down screaming, "oh my god, oh my god!! it's an aardvark! it's an aardvark!" then he just stopped and said "oh you're a dog" and walked away.

Happy New Year!!!!

chronic-les of Narnia...it's funny

click here to watch

effective advertising

salsa

sometimes i wonder what it would feel like to just let go. to only focus on what is right in front of you. to just trust your instincts, the natural ones, not the ones society teaches you. i watched a salsa lesson and that is what it looked like: the people who were good had this natural ability to just let go, to be comfortable in their bodies and to just see what happened. the people who were uncomfortable, were unsure of how to move, they knew that people were watching them, they cared about the consequences. sometimes i want to forget about the consequences.

RC hearts corduroy (the bear) and other tidbits

RU this blog's for you.

they make backpacks that are bullet proof.

AH passed out in my spare bedroom on christmas night and we wrote stuff on his face with a sharpie. it was a blue sharpie.

i got a harry potter doll for xmas. it has a broom and a cape. very realistic actually.

MM is a very thoughtful friend. He called back when we texted him at 5am on boxing day.

wolf creek is a horrible movie and i want to know why it opened on christmas.

PE you are awesome. Drinking in movie theatres: BRILLIANT.

do you guys think nick, jess or both had an affair?

Cressida, thanks for my scottie PJ's. I heart them.

L-tims, come home soon. it has been forever.

february is the worst month of all.

RS? where are you? have you forsaken the small city for the land of sunshine and the arnold?

one day i will be warm. oh yeah, LB gave me a cool electric throw. Thanks!!!

something i have to remind myself...

sad day

baconscraps’ grandfather died yesterday. we will be spending almost all of our holiday in the car and on planes trying to make it to louisiana for a wake. i am sad for baconscraps because he already hates christmas and this will just make it harder for him. also, i am scared to see new orleans since all the katrina destruction. it is all just sad. very, very sad.

Winter Wonderland

ungranted christmas wishes

click here to view my directorial debut.

uhmmm. ok, you're a freak

Joel Krupnik and Mildred Castellanos decked the front of their Manhattan mansion this year with a scene that includes a knife-wielding 5-foot-tall St. Nick and a tree full of decapitated Barbie dolls. Hidden partly behind a tree, the merry old elf grasps a disembodied doll's head with fake blood streaming from its eye sockets.
Krupnik says the display is intended to call attention to the commercialization of Christmas.

right. well, all i see is a decapitated doll with blood on her face.

my holiday "soapbox" moment

wow.
the lion the witch and the wardrobe is fantastic. i read the books as a kid and re-read them as an adult but, i was skeptical of the movie due to the “overt christianity/proselytizing” claims in many of the reviews. the christian symbolism is there if you know what you are looking for. Aslan makes the ultimate sacrifice, Edmund is “saved” twice—once by Aslan’s sacrifice and again by a red colored liquid which he drinks, the white witch is evil and offers immediate gratification but leaves you cold and empty, etc, you get the point.
however, the deeper message goes way beyond christian principles and touches you in a profound way, deep within your heart maybe even your soul. it is that place that yearns for a better world, that wishes for kindness and innocence. it touches you regardless of your religious beliefs because it is not really about religion. it is about love for humanity and hope that we will care enough to display the goodness that we are capable of.
i loved it, please see it.

squirrels gone wild...

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park. Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute. They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh. A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.
what the....? a pine cone shortage. my god, eat the leaves or something!

deperately seeking blog

blogspot says you can email posts to your blog. if you are reading this it worked. if you are not, then it was bounced back.

THANK GOD!!! MY BLOG IS BACK UP AT WORK!!!

but who knows for how long. better enjoy it while i can.