31 January 2006

shout out

PRA-PRA Princess Power!!!!

30 January 2006

don't try this at the office

In schools all over London, apparently, break-times are seeing boys running into the toilet to masturbate furiously, collect their jizz in the palms of their hands, then go out and find a younger kid...then slap them in the face while shouting "SEAGULL!"

what is there to say?

Poor US soldiers - not only do they get sent to die in Iraq, now they're having their funerals hijacked by religious nut jobs. At a recent military funeral the God Hates Fags movement dragged the flag on the ground while carrying signs that said "Thank God for dead soldiers". They also protested at the funerals of the miners who died in the Sago mine disaster, with signs stating, "Aids cures fags" and "fags burn in hell".

Their point appears to be that bad things happen because God is angry that some people are gay.

God Hates Fags was the brainchild of Kansas Baptist preacher Fred Phelps, and is dedicated to "preaching the Gospel truth about the soul-damning, nation-destroying notion that it is OK to be gay."

I am thinking of starting a group called God is Not a Bigot.

23 January 2006

Of mice and men

A pub in Queensland held a Jackass promotion night which ended in two men chewing the tails off live mice to try to win a vacation. Tony McGee drank beer and bourbon for six hours before the contest, during which he set off a mouse trap with his tongue, sucked up chillies through a straw, ate a cup of maggots, and drank a pint of anchovies and a pint of mouthwash. He was so drunk that he has no memory of eating the mouse-tail. After leaving court, where he was fined $500, journalists asked McGee if he had any advice for other competitors. His response: "Don't eat mice."

Two things: 1, GROSS!!!!; 2, all that and i don't think he even won the vacation. sad really.

OH MY GOD IT IS A MIRACLE

The firewalls are down and I have been able to read my blog for the first time in ages!!!
I have so many things that I want to tell you guys. Where to start?
First, a woman married a dolphin. Yes, it is true, in a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, some freak decided to marry a dolphin. Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, the bride got down on one knee on the dock and gave the dolphin a kiss; and a piece of herring.
When asked if she had a boyfriend, she replied, "No. I'm going to end up with Cindy" (that is the dolphin). But the bride said she would keep open the option of marrying a human at some stage. But for now she is strictly a one-dolphin woman.
Also, if anyone gets a chance to see the new eve ensler show, I highly recommend it. Guys, you should see it too. It is not the vagina monologues but it is still great. Check out this review and look at the good body website.

02 January 2006

it's an aardvark!!!!!

this weekend i was walking in dupont and some guy was walking his dog. the dog was huge and very excited. he ran up to a homeless man and started sniffing him. the homeless man started jumping up and down screaming, "oh my god, oh my god!! it's an aardvark! it's an aardvark!" then he just stopped and said "oh you're a dog" and walked away.