30 March 2006

where oh where have the smart people gone?

sometimes i feel like i am not as smart as my peers.
sometimes i feel like other people are not as smart as me.
sometimes i feel like most people are not as smart as the people who are not as smart as me.

i realize that this sounds incredibly arrogant. sorry for that. but really people, how did we get to be so stupid?

things i have heard in real life:

"i think that van gogh (pronounced van-go-ch) guy painted that ceiling in italy"

"what language do they speak in italy?"

"is the gulf war in florida?"

"what time is the three o clock parade?"

and my absolute favorite,

Girl One: "the pope is not catholic he is jewish, he wears that little beanie on his head."
Girl Two: "no, he is not jewish. he is multicultralistic, the king of all the religions."

20 March 2006

The joy of living in Afghanistan

Abdul Rahman is on trial in Afghanistan for becoming a Christian. He converted 16 years ago as an aid worker helping refugees in Pakistan.

Lucky for him, the “new” constitution in Afghanistan is based on shar’ia, which according to the trail judge’s interpretation means Rahman should be put to death for “rejecting Islam”.
The trail judge says the he will invite Abdul Rahman back to Islam again because, “the religion of Islam is one of tolerance. We will ask him if he has changed his mind. If so we will forgive him. But if he refuses to reconvert, then his mental state will be considered” before he is put to death.


Let’s all pray that right-wing religious beliefs don’t take infiltrate the USA. Oh, wait...

15 March 2006


i just don't get you
one minute things are good then
it all goes down hill

14 March 2006

Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson, who is clearly a voice of reason, much like Dr. James Dobson of a previous post, just referred to Muslims as “crazed fanatics” who are “motivated by demonic power”.

In a manner that could be called nothing except for rational, he went on to say that they were “satanic and it's time we recognize what we're dealing with. Islam is not a religion of peace…the goal of Islam, ladies and gentlemen whether you like it or not, is world domination”.

Robertson, who claims to be filled with Christ’s love, suggested that American agents assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. He also claimed the stroke that left Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon in a coma was God's punishment for Israel's withdrawal from the Gaza Strip.

Robertson, lucky for us, has his own website and his own televison program and his own college to help spread his peaceful messages of hate, bigotry, murder, conspiracy, and retribution in the name of god.

God bless us, every one.

09 March 2006

How much will you pay for PENIS?

There's a restaurant in Beijing whose specialty is animal penis. Check out the menu here. From $40 to $400, you can get ox, yak, dog, donkey, and seal penises. Just like mom used to make. Or not.

That says dog. You read it right.

07 March 2006

why god why!?!?!?

it happened.
i found one sticking out of the top of my head. just sticking straight up; shorter, coarser and obviously lighter than all the other ones. it clearly didn't belong there and so i plucked it. plucked my first fucking grey hair. it was horrible. it wasn't even grey. if i am honest it was white. short and white and horrible and it had clearly been lurking for some time. well it is gone now and i will pluck myself bald before i accept that my hair is turning grey. sigh.

farewell my friend

flavia, you rock
i don’t even like coffee
but you made it good

I am starting a new job. I will not have an office to myself, there will be no windows, and perhaps the saddest part… there will be no Flavia. This is my third and last post dedicated to the wonder of the Flavia which, as you guys know, gives me a great deal of joy; a beverage machine with endless possibilities that cleans itself and is free. Besides providing me a constant flow of warm beverages, the Flavia is also where I go for office gossip, camaraderie, and chit-chat. I am sad to leave the warm embrace of hot chocolate, coffee, and tea.