25 December 2006

who knew?

walgreens is opened on the 25.
walgreens has a "beauty advisor". pictures to follow
walgreens sells "press on" toenails. there are 96 in a pack.
does that make any sense?

06 October 2006

ridiculous coversations

after football (there was lots of drinking and some dancing)
mikey: this is what makes a man; emotions, beer and sports.

out shopping
caprice: so the tag says it is a dress, but it might be a shirt
ray u: come out.
caprice: do you think it is a dress?
caprice: great. i am getting it.

after football part 2
mikey: want to smoke?
goddog: sure. i'll take a puff of your pee poh.

21 September 2006

keeping up

why is it that the older we get, the more we need our friends, and the harder it is to keep up with them.
it doesn't make sense. we have email, and cellphone and regular phone, and chat, and im, and text message and blog and whatever else. but the more i chat and talk and text the farther away i feel.
maybe it is time to write some letters.

06 September 2006

food in japan

ok, so i am naturally a picky eater. i don't like my food to touch and i eat one thing at a time. but i travel a lot and i am willing to try most things. once. but dear god some of the stuff in japan was a stretch. my gag reflex kicked in before i even put it in my mouth.

for example: fish worms (small pink things that look like worms with eyes but everyone insists are fish)

green jello with fish in it.

lobster mousse

why is the question i keep asking. no longer do i ask what i am eating. i am now concerned with question why is anyone eating it. at one point i was offered a plate which contained what appeared to be a fish. in actuality it was only fish skin and bones. all the meat was removed and then the skin and bones were fried, intact, and served with the eyes. think of it as a cross between beef jerky and fried pig skin (neither of which i eat).

i should say that the beef was really good and i ate that whenever i could. i even ate tongue which had a pretty good flavor but was kind of tough. but on the whole i was starving. thank god there is a 7/11 in tokyo.

01 September 2006

japan II

there was an earthquake
it was small but it was cool
the whole city shook

31 August 2006


so i am in the apple store blogging from GINZA, which is the shopping distract of TOKYO. TOKYO rocks! but the keys are in a foriegn language as is the blog interface so this will be short.

fabulous japan
never did i imagine
a land of shopping

24 August 2006

aoife's haiku

life moves us apart
but some hearts and souls are close
our bond is special

where are you?

when i started my blog it was a really fun way to keep up with my friends and meet new peeps on the internet. now people are posting less, removing blogs, changing addresses. what is the deal? i miss you guys.

20 July 2006


hey fantastiku
this haiku is just for you
cause you so funny

09 July 2006

Thank you

for surprising me
the party was fantastic
and so was the pie

30 June 2006

bye bye tims

ltims whims formally departed from the blog world today. my understanding is that the blog is gone forever (no more haikus) but that she will remain a blog lurker for some time.

an haiku for tims
parting is such sweet sorrow
maybe try my space?

28 June 2006

weekend ramblings II

dear caveman, why don't you attack me, my friends, and my blog. again.

on friday i had this "beertail" called a skip and go naked. it was beer, gin, lemon juice, and grenadine. i didn't skip or go naked but it was still good.

it started raining on saturday and it didn't stop until wed. it flooded the street and houses and the metro. have you ever heard of the metro flooding before? i have to admit i am slightly more concerned about flooding metros than what the terror alert level is.

voluptuously is a word. be honest, how many people knew that? and those that say they did, i would like to hear that in a sentence.

I DON'T WANT FRANCE TO WIN!!!!!!!! and italy robbed australia. well actually the ref robbed australia. what is the deal with that? did anyone else think that becks looked old? posh should really take him to whoever does her botox.

18 June 2006

weekend ramblings

how is acceptable that someone who has been suspended for cheating would have the opportunity to ref again? the usa vs italy game was today. the ref was awful. he was not allowed to ref in the last world cup. hmmm.

why is the right thing so hard to do? why do emotions cloud things? how do you stop that from happening? i am reading cs lewis right now. he is talking about need love versus gift love. i guess need love gets in the way. we are only thinking about what we need in that moment and never about what we could give or what is being given to us.

why are families so dysfunctional? why is it so much easier to deal with your own family dysfunction? wouldn't life, and especially relationships, be easier if you never had to deal with anyone's family? that saying-when you marry the person, you marry the family-that sucks. and i think it is a lie. or at least everyone should work extra hard to make it false.

do you think that there is life in space? i watched this movie that said that life at the really scary black part of the ocean is probably how life on europa is. europa is a moon. who knew? i kind of hope it is not true since the "life" they showed us was billions, and i really mean billions, of really disgusting looking shrimp that could live in toxic ocean gas that was 750 degrees fahrenheit. yuck. that is more primal than roaches. no thanks.

06 June 2006

places i have been

are in red. places i need to go are in white

create your own visited countries map

self portrait

here it is. part of the self i have been trying to find. i am still not sure exactly who i am or what i want but i think i am on the right path. eventually i will know. i wonder if it will be a flash of understanding, like when some bizarre philosophy that you have been struggling with suddenly comes clear. or will it be an awakening, like when you fall into happiness or contentment. either way i am excited that i have at least found the path.

29 May 2006

battle of the sexes is NOT a fun party game

but i still agreed to play.
to my team and my opponents, i let my bitterness at the game take over and i acted ridiculous.
i am sorry.

18 May 2006

god is talking, are you listening?

Pat Robertson says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.
"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms. There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

if i heard the lord right, and i am fairly i certain that i did, he said that everyone who reads my blog is going to send me money so that i can get out of debt and open my own store in dubai. ARE YOU LISTENING?!!! GOD SAID!!!!!! email me and i will send you the address that you can post your checks to. i take credit cards as well.

27 April 2006

my sister is very brave

she is following in brave cressida's footsteps; last week she packed up here stuff and moved to sunny california.
she wants to be an actress, and even though i make tons of fun of her and call her an aspiring waitress, i secretly think it was a brave thing to do.
she is living in LA all by herself without a job and no friends because she really believes that she can make it. she legally changed her name, bought a new car, gave away one of her cats, and drove, literally, across the country. she left her boyfriend and more importantly, our mom behind in the horse capital of the world.

i realize that a lot of us have moved away for school or a job but i don't know if i would be brave enough to just move for nothing but a chance. she did. and tomorrow will mark her one week anniversary into adulthood and possible stardom.

congratulations sis, and well done!!

12 April 2006

can bad luck be a disease?

and once you catch it can you ever get rid of it?

when i was 17 i hit this guy's car in the high school parking lot. i had a 1982 chrysler 5th Avenue. it was 1998. he had a brand new ford explorer.

when i was 18 i rear ended my boyfriend. my car was totaled. he made me buy him a new bumper even though it wasn't even scratched. we broke up.

when i was 20 i was rear ended in my volvo by a crazy lady in an SUV. she was talking on the phone. i was stopped at a crosswalk. my car was totaled. i was forced to buy a much crappier one.

three weeks ago a pedestrian in the little city walked out in front of a truck. the truck slammed on its brakes, another truck hit the first truck. i hit the second truck and my car front went underneath. my car was totaled. no damage to either truck. the pedestrian didn't even stop, she just headed into the museum like j-walking wasn't a crime.

this week my roommate let me borrow her car. today it was broken into via the passenger's side window. the idiot who did it reached in and opened the other doors, popped the trunk, threw everything onto the side walk and only stole the jumper cables.

30 March 2006

where oh where have the smart people gone?

sometimes i feel like i am not as smart as my peers.
sometimes i feel like other people are not as smart as me.
sometimes i feel like most people are not as smart as the people who are not as smart as me.

i realize that this sounds incredibly arrogant. sorry for that. but really people, how did we get to be so stupid?

things i have heard in real life:

"i think that van gogh (pronounced van-go-ch) guy painted that ceiling in italy"

"what language do they speak in italy?"

"is the gulf war in florida?"

"what time is the three o clock parade?"

and my absolute favorite,

Girl One: "the pope is not catholic he is jewish, he wears that little beanie on his head."
Girl Two: "no, he is not jewish. he is multicultralistic, the king of all the religions."

20 March 2006

The joy of living in Afghanistan

Abdul Rahman is on trial in Afghanistan for becoming a Christian. He converted 16 years ago as an aid worker helping refugees in Pakistan.

Lucky for him, the “new” constitution in Afghanistan is based on shar’ia, which according to the trail judge’s interpretation means Rahman should be put to death for “rejecting Islam”.
The trail judge says the he will invite Abdul Rahman back to Islam again because, “the religion of Islam is one of tolerance. We will ask him if he has changed his mind. If so we will forgive him. But if he refuses to reconvert, then his mental state will be considered” before he is put to death.


Let’s all pray that right-wing religious beliefs don’t take infiltrate the USA. Oh, wait...

15 March 2006


i just don't get you
one minute things are good then
it all goes down hill

14 March 2006

Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson, who is clearly a voice of reason, much like Dr. James Dobson of a previous post, just referred to Muslims as “crazed fanatics” who are “motivated by demonic power”.

In a manner that could be called nothing except for rational, he went on to say that they were “satanic and it's time we recognize what we're dealing with. Islam is not a religion of peace…the goal of Islam, ladies and gentlemen whether you like it or not, is world domination”.

Robertson, who claims to be filled with Christ’s love, suggested that American agents assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. He also claimed the stroke that left Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon in a coma was God's punishment for Israel's withdrawal from the Gaza Strip.

Robertson, lucky for us, has his own website and his own televison program and his own college to help spread his peaceful messages of hate, bigotry, murder, conspiracy, and retribution in the name of god.

God bless us, every one.

09 March 2006

How much will you pay for PENIS?

There's a restaurant in Beijing whose specialty is animal penis. Check out the menu here. From $40 to $400, you can get ox, yak, dog, donkey, and seal penises. Just like mom used to make. Or not.

That says dog. You read it right.

07 March 2006

why god why!?!?!?

it happened.
i found one sticking out of the top of my head. just sticking straight up; shorter, coarser and obviously lighter than all the other ones. it clearly didn't belong there and so i plucked it. plucked my first fucking grey hair. it was horrible. it wasn't even grey. if i am honest it was white. short and white and horrible and it had clearly been lurking for some time. well it is gone now and i will pluck myself bald before i accept that my hair is turning grey. sigh.

farewell my friend

flavia, you rock
i don’t even like coffee
but you made it good

I am starting a new job. I will not have an office to myself, there will be no windows, and perhaps the saddest part… there will be no Flavia. This is my third and last post dedicated to the wonder of the Flavia which, as you guys know, gives me a great deal of joy; a beverage machine with endless possibilities that cleans itself and is free. Besides providing me a constant flow of warm beverages, the Flavia is also where I go for office gossip, camaraderie, and chit-chat. I am sad to leave the warm embrace of hot chocolate, coffee, and tea.

13 February 2006

my list

I haven’t blogged in forever. Everything in my life has changed. It’s not that I have nothing to share it is more that I don’t really know how to share it. I guess a list is best.

I moved out of my place with baconscraps

I got a roommate; my roommate moved out

I made new friends; I am about to lose one of them. I am watching it happen and I want to stop it but it seems like I just make it worse

I am getting a new roommate this week

I sent 500 text messages in January and I didn’t have a text plan

I feel a little overwhelmed sometimes; it just hits me in a wave I have no control over

I haven’t really been able to cry; I did tonight

I am scared

I miss my mom

I am excited for all the things I could do next

31 January 2006

shout out

PRA-PRA Princess Power!!!!

30 January 2006

don't try this at the office

In schools all over London, apparently, break-times are seeing boys running into the toilet to masturbate furiously, collect their jizz in the palms of their hands, then go out and find a younger kid...then slap them in the face while shouting "SEAGULL!"

what is there to say?

Poor US soldiers - not only do they get sent to die in Iraq, now they're having their funerals hijacked by religious nut jobs. At a recent military funeral the God Hates Fags movement dragged the flag on the ground while carrying signs that said "Thank God for dead soldiers". They also protested at the funerals of the miners who died in the Sago mine disaster, with signs stating, "Aids cures fags" and "fags burn in hell".

Their point appears to be that bad things happen because God is angry that some people are gay.

God Hates Fags was the brainchild of Kansas Baptist preacher Fred Phelps, and is dedicated to "preaching the Gospel truth about the soul-damning, nation-destroying notion that it is OK to be gay."

I am thinking of starting a group called God is Not a Bigot.

23 January 2006

Of mice and men

A pub in Queensland held a Jackass promotion night which ended in two men chewing the tails off live mice to try to win a vacation. Tony McGee drank beer and bourbon for six hours before the contest, during which he set off a mouse trap with his tongue, sucked up chillies through a straw, ate a cup of maggots, and drank a pint of anchovies and a pint of mouthwash. He was so drunk that he has no memory of eating the mouse-tail. After leaving court, where he was fined $500, journalists asked McGee if he had any advice for other competitors. His response: "Don't eat mice."

Two things: 1, GROSS!!!!; 2, all that and i don't think he even won the vacation. sad really.


The firewalls are down and I have been able to read my blog for the first time in ages!!!
I have so many things that I want to tell you guys. Where to start?
First, a woman married a dolphin. Yes, it is true, in a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, some freak decided to marry a dolphin. Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, the bride got down on one knee on the dock and gave the dolphin a kiss; and a piece of herring.
When asked if she had a boyfriend, she replied, "No. I'm going to end up with Cindy" (that is the dolphin). But the bride said she would keep open the option of marrying a human at some stage. But for now she is strictly a one-dolphin woman.
Also, if anyone gets a chance to see the new eve ensler show, I highly recommend it. Guys, you should see it too. It is not the vagina monologues but it is still great. Check out this review and look at the good body website.

02 January 2006

it's an aardvark!!!!!

this weekend i was walking in dupont and some guy was walking his dog. the dog was huge and very excited. he ran up to a homeless man and started sniffing him. the homeless man started jumping up and down screaming, "oh my god, oh my god!! it's an aardvark! it's an aardvark!" then he just stopped and said "oh you're a dog" and walked away.