30 March 2006

where oh where have the smart people gone?

sometimes i feel like i am not as smart as my peers.
sometimes i feel like other people are not as smart as me.
sometimes i feel like most people are not as smart as the people who are not as smart as me.

i realize that this sounds incredibly arrogant. sorry for that. but really people, how did we get to be so stupid?

things i have heard in real life:

"i think that van gogh (pronounced van-go-ch) guy painted that ceiling in italy"

"what language do they speak in italy?"

"is the gulf war in florida?"

"what time is the three o clock parade?"

and my absolute favorite,

Girl One: "the pope is not catholic he is jewish, he wears that little beanie on his head."
Girl Two: "no, he is not jewish. he is multicultralistic, the king of all the religions."

10 comments:

Cressy said...

what about the one about the king charles spaniard?

Anonymous said...

They are all in Bangalore, India, because if they stayed here they would be considered illegal aliens.

The only illegal aliens the US wants are the ones who will do the dirty jobs.

Pick tomatoes? we look the other way and setup day laborer sites so the rich can find you easier.

Port operations? No siree, Bob. We can't be havin' none of that. Unless you are Chinese, of course (see Orient Overseas Investment Limited in port of New York).

What were we talking about again?

idris said...

Overheard at my old bookstore:
I need a book with real photos of prehistoric cats.

Do you have any books with color photographs of Jesus?

What is the name of the book on my coffee table at my house? Clerk: Idiot's guide to Dummies?

idris said...

Overheard at my new bookstore:
Do you have any short books for kids who don't like to read? Clerk: Yes, they're called coloring books.

How much is a library card?

Clerk: Is this book a novel? Mongo: ...I don't really know ..
Clerk: ...what a novel is?
Mongo: ...yeah, I don't know.
Clerk: That's sarcasm ...
Mongo: ...no, that's not the name of it.

Cressy said...

lol.

that's some funny stuff right there Idris. Keep it coming!

idris said...

Lance Armstrong says that he "beat cancer" and his recovery wasn't a miracle (he divorced his wife shortly thereafter). With his absolute power over cancer, did he give it to Sheryl Crow out of spite? My simple minded coworker asked if you could "get" cancer by osmosis.

idris said...

Hey Ray, did the assistant have any previous relations with Lance Armstrong? I think he may have humped cancer into submission and mastered it. Maybe he can give me cancer like telling a dog to "sick 'em", should I apolgize to Lancer? I know he speaks french so maybe he is a god. Please .. Ray .. let me know. For the children.

Anonymous said...

When I was in elementary school, I discovered a "fossil" with a scheletonized outline of a "prehistoric" leave. My teacher was ready to call a press conference when I had to break it to her that the fossil was made out of concrete and I was just trying to fool my brother.
Thankfully, Lance Armstrong was nowhere near.

Anonymous said...

Many scholarly articles have been written to show how Acute Trauma Response accounts for suicidal reaction at witnessing a horrific event (i.e. Earthquake, George W. Bush speech).
Therefore, the smart people have not gone anywhere, our brain cells are simply committing suicide by the millions every time Dubyah is on the tele.

Anonymous said...

sometimes i feel like other people are not as smart as me.