31 October 2005

do any of you know the recipe for crack?

So I am still part-time at the bookstore. Don’t ask why because I have no answer for you, maybe because I am masochistically inclined? Anyway, three new stories and yes, one of them does involve the bathroom.

The kids department has a table and benches. Not the kind that you or I would sit at, but the kind for kids and by kids I mean infant to around 7. So this GINORMOUS family; mom, dad, and kid sit down at the table. They proceed to unpack a full lunch from subway including foot long sandwiches for each of them with chips and a drink. Then they start eating their food and reading magazines like the bookstore is their house or something. What makes people think it is ok to couch out in the bookstore? Despite what you may think, this is not your house—go home!!!

Two kids were having sex in the women’s bathroom and someone complained. Had to send someone in to tell them that only women were allowed in the women’s bathroom. They came out and continued to shop. Need I say more?

Three teenage guys, dressed in solid black and wearing black lipstick, inform me that they need a book on how to make crack. Yes, crack. As in Marion Berry with the prostitutes smoking it up, crack. A recipe. They came to the bookstore and asked for a recipe to make crack. Being the calm and collected individual that I am, I laughed in their faces and informed them that the bookstore does not carry recipes for crack. They replied that it was for school; their teacher wanted them to know how to make crack. I kept laughing.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

So I have a story to add to your list of children excreting in the Kids department.

Last night at the Bethesda B&N a child smeared his faeces all over the porch. The mother then yelled at the booksellers who found it and had to clean it up because their disgust was evident upon their faces, and her son already felt bad enough as it was.

caprice said...

that is when you say, "so sorry, why don't you clean up your own childs poo and then only you will look disgusted".

faircity tales said...

you coulda had so much more fun with the recipe. made up your own like. maybe its bookstores? i worked forever as a server and never had these kinda stories. nerds.