17 August 2005

What about our daughters Dr. D?

Apparently James Dobson disseminated a guide in one of his 2002 newsletters on how a father can prevent his son from turning gay. The advice included roughhousing with him, teaching him to throw and catch, showing him how "to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard" capped off with this: "He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger."

I wonder what tips Dr. D would suggest to save a daughter from being a lesbian?
Take your daughter to William Sonoma and Victoria's Secret. Show your daughter your boobs so that she will see that she has them too, just like you, only smaller. Put on make-up with your daughter. Teach her to bake round cheese cakes in round cheese cake pans.

To this I say:
Thank god. For a minute there I was afraid I would have to send my (potential) kids to Mercy House to "degayify" them. But now I see that with a few simple steps I too can raise non-mo, "right with the lord," children.
Thank you Baby Jesus
and thank you Dr. D

17 comments:

caprice said...

Dr D has serious issues. I can only hope that all of his books are about to go out of print.

Cressida said...

Dr. D is full of crap.

Cressida said...

could you be referring to the Mercy House on Main Street per chance?

caprice said...

actually i was referring to the Mercy House in "Saved".

caprice said...

do you think that MJ used the Dobson approach to avoid jail.
"Your Honor, the reason i have been bathing with youg boys at the Neverland Ranch is to keep them from turning gay!!! Dr Dobson told me to do it."

Cressida said...

LOL....
yes, that might work.
It's America after all.
on top of that, it's LA

TinaPoPo said...

Oh, I love "Saved." But I don't love Dr. D. My parents think he's the second coming, which is a scary thing indeed.

caprice said...

i bet most of our parents read his books. my mom had several copies of "the strong willed child" i think he wrote that.
uh-oh, what does that say about us?

TinaPoPo said...

Oh, good lord, the Strong Willed Child. My mom still has it on the side table in my parent's family room. Isn't he also the Focus on the Family guy?

caprice said...

YUP!!

Cressida said...

my parents have "how to make your child a strong willed gay republican who does drag shows on the weekends" on their coffee table.

caprice said...

but campaigns for Bush durning the week. you forgot that part.

Cressida said...

god yes! how could i forget! I mean, i spend all my time at work online sending out W emails and stuff... And I think i've perfected his accent. Call me at 567 9309 if you wanna hear it. It's cool.

Tim said...

hmmm... I think I'll do just the opposite of this just to test the theory. If the theory turns out right and my kids are gay I'll just send them away to Degayifing Camp when they're teenagers.

aoife said...

and the true meaning of the word mercy is . .

Cressida said...

nah, I think it'd be hilarious to just let them be gay and then tell them you purposely made them that way. see what they have to say to that.

Kid: "You mean I could have avoided all the predjudice and stereotypes my WHOLE life!!!?? What kind of father ARE you exactly!??"

Father: "An experimental one? What? You're mother loved having the company on shopping trips and to the spa...don't be such a typical teenager and think about yourself all the time!"

Cressida said...

"ungrateful brat" actually, is what I should have said. That's what my dad likes to call me. But he didn't make me gay even. I'm just an ungrateful heterosexual brat.