a moment from my secret blog

Oct. 19 2005
cressida's departure is really impacting me. we are all in different places; pursuing new lives. it is so amazing but also a little sad. i posted this on my other blog but i want you guys to know how much i love you, how important you are to me.

Sept. 19 2005
i feel like we should embrace our friends and make them our "family". we get to pick them and they get to pick us. that makes the bond even dearer.

my life long friend is smart and beautiful. she has passion and drive when she chooses. i love to talk to her and discover new things and ideas with her. we have been friends a long time. together we watched our parents go through childbirth, adultry, divorce, and making it work. we have gone through middle school, highschool, college, and post grad and still we are friends. sometimes it is easy: when we debate, when we stay up late, we we just hang out and appreciate each other. sometimes it is hard: when we fight, when we walk away, when we are stuborn. sometimes it is scary: when i don't know how to help her, when i think she is really lost, when i know she is sick, when i suspect that she is scared, when she thinks i am judging her, when she believes i am trying to change her. sometimes it just is: when i tell her things i can't tell anyone else and she doesn't have to respond, when we have those honest moments and things seem alright in life and the world.
my anytime friend is the nicest person i have ever known. she cares so much about everyone else that she forgets to care about herself. she is funny and cute and lets people be themselves. she never expects things from others but is willing to give whatever she has to anyone. i really admire her. she makes it easy to be her friend. i love her and i hope she knows. i want her to succeed and to be happy. i hope that one day i will be able to give her all the things that she gives me.
my all the time friend. she is my rock. she is always there and always has advice. sometimes i want it and sometimes i don't. but she thinks i need it, so she gives it. there is hardly anything i don't tell her. she is smart and caring and has a lot of hope. i enjoy that she is not cynical or a down. in each other we have that special friend that you can always let go with. we sing karaoke and dance to britany, or lay around singing 80s crap music and disney. we share our hearts and she also shares her family when she knows mine is not working. this friendship takes the most work but it is always worth it. we are kindred spirits.
my newest friend. i have known her as long as the rest but we only really developed our friendship in the past few years. she is stunning and kind. she loves animals and boys. sometimes i feel like i know her but sometimes she is still an enigma. she doesn't share her secrets or really let me in. she has this whole part of her that is shut off. sometimes i wonder if it is shut off to me or to everyone. when she does open up, you find this mine of ideas and interests. she is smart and easygoing. she is sensitive and sometimes i forget. i hope that she forgives me. i hope eventually she lets me know her.
my oldest friend. literally and figuratively. she has played a lot of roles in my life: my mom, my roomate, my sister, my friend. i love her and her family. she is my family.

to all my friends,
i am so thankful for you.
i love you