Get out the Vote Part I

I spent the weekend working on a political campaign. I really love politics but I would be a horrible politician. It’s the mood swings that do me in; the whole wear your emotions on your sleeve and a temper bigger than Howard Dean’s will always keep me off the ballot. But maybe it is better that way. I don’t know if I want all those people in my house, literally. This time around “headquarters” for “Get out the Vote” weekend was in the candidate’s house. So at any given moment 30-60 people could just be chilling on the couch or the porch or trying to use the bathroom. That water bill is going to be outrageous.

In 2004 I worked on a local election in England. I found myself hanging out with the candidate and her family. I had never met these people, I didn’t live in their country let alone their neighborhood and yet I found my self having fish n chips with them two nights in a row. They were nice, I did a lot of leafleting for them, and they had a shrine to Merlin. You are thinking that they have a shelf of Merlin statues and that I am just exaggerating for the sake of amusement. I am not. I really mean a shrine. A three foot alcove covered with Plexiglas; inside, a painting of Merlin and a small shelve for candles. Beneath the candles, a very large piece of statuary which the candidate informed me was her “most prized possession.” She bought it with her inheritance. It’s a round wooden table that seats all of King Arthur’s Knights. Statues of Guinevere, Merlin and King Arthur complete the piece. They have gems for eyes.

On the flip side of weird candidates are the weird constituents. Canvassing, literature drops, and just plain old solicitation were the activities for the weekend—before you say anything, it was not solicitation like prostitution! It was solicitation as in standing in parking lots asking people to vote, specifically to vote for the candidate I work for. I was attacked by two dogs and a man with Confederate flags on his truck told me to fuck off. You never know what you’re going to get when you “Get out the Vote.” An elderly woman asked if our candidate was pro-life or pro-abortion. We explained that he was pro-choice and she asked again, “does that mean he is pro choice or pro abortion?” We brace for verbal assault and explain that he believes that every woman has the right to choose. The assault never comes; instead this little old lady says “Thank God, I am tired of the government telling people what to do with their bodies!! And by the way, is Jesus Christ your savior?”

Part II tomorrow. Remember to Vote.